SUBLIME

i've never had a feeling like this before.

after an arduous 1 year and 10 months, i feel like i'm flying. there's a spring in my step as i walk, the air seems fresher and cleaner, the same places i see every weekend look different, and i really feel very proud of my country.


so here we are after stuffing ourselves silly on ORD night (and trying to win macs monopoly). it's seriously hell and despite knowing that "everyone goes through it", it still feels fricking awesome to complete national service. no more shackles holding us back.

and by the way you can ignore my last attempt to look garang. it's because i really didn't want to carry my boots home. as a stay-in personnel i have lots of stuff to bring back, see.

the last week in camp was a rather emotional affair - but at the same time it was very enjoyable. i felt really upset and sentimental about the whole thing on friday when i had to check out of Sungei Gedong resort. but before anyone calls me crazy i have to clarify that this was the only week it turned into a resort.

the 4 days in camp were spent talking cawk with the guys, eating the best of each mess, writing last-minute goodbye notes and hmm.. not sure if i should mention it. so i won't. it's incredible how all the shellscrapes and field camps has culminated into such an ending - but i will not complain.

i'll talk about friday. the moment i woke up it was like.. the day i woke up for commissioning. only better. my original plan was to shout out ORD LOH but that makes me look more of a madman than an ORD personnel.

instead, kenny and i went to the toilet for some camo-ing of our arms with "ORD". then went down for our final life run. yet again i deviated from my original plan of burning out for a good finish - because b2 wanted to run with kenny and i couldn't pangseh. ended up taking a nice slow jog around a camp which we won't see for very very long.

b2 says hq armour would miss me for ARR. hahahaha. i could run for them so long they don't put me through the training.

as we finished our run, it was final admin time. medical FFI and the destroying of my isac card. it felt good as i ambled along, but crazy kenny just wanted to get his ORD asap. still those were good moments to savour, for how many times can you ORD in your life?

we had a good long chat with b2 as he signed our clearance. after that as all our signatures were complete, we looked for the admin clerk and.. our pink IC.

now i never really gave a damn about my pink IC. when i first got it at 15 i was like "gee what a bother, have to waste one day to go down and make". however as every singaporean male story goes, it was cruelly taken away on 9 january last year.

after regaining it for the second time, i'll never ever take it for granted again. this citizenship is EARNED and there's no bloody way i'm going to give it up in this lifetime. WOOHOO.

at 11:19am sharp, after signing an undertaking that i would never pledge allegiance to a foreign government organisation (like wth would want to), and taking back some NSmen reference material.. i officially made the transition from NSF to NSman.

ORD LOH!

no matter how many times i've said it before, this time counts for real. ahahaha then came the spamming of ORD "posters" and really final goodbyes. it wasn't a tearful farewell or anything, but as i've seen from most ORDs, we would quietly slink away while the rest carry on with their lives. and then we carry on with ours.

2pm and we met chenkai at the gate to leave gedong. i was practically route marching with my field pack and miscellaneous "barang barang". i'm using too much army slang seriously. luckily chenkai had those dial-a-cab numbers so we three just cabbed to our various destinations.

kenny and i alighted at CCK. given the backgrounds we come from i think we both know we'll hardly see each other again. if not for army he wouldn't have felt my existence and i would have thought he was just a punk (which he is but lol you get my point). this was slightly more emotional - but armour has taught has to be MANLY. so we parted ways on a good note.

then the pcb party started. i arranged to meet goon at lot 1 so while waiting i decided to go to macs to get an EVM, since i haven't tried getting those coupons - though i've been telling many people to try. i slowly munched through my fries. goon not here. nibbled at my mcspicy. goon not here. sipped my drink. goon still not here.

slowly i got up from my seat lugging my 2million kg fieldpack and my plastic bags, turned the corner.. and goon was there. perfect timing - so as i walked to chew's place with him i slowly peeled off the labels to see what i won.

well, the result was not bad at all for someone who's been a little short of luck for most lucky draws. my first was actually an INSTANT WIN BIG MAC. then the rest were little properties that went onto the board. what a start. i instantly felt pleased with myself; the luck that ORD brings should not be underestimated.

goon and i reached chew's house - albeit with much panting from my effort. like a route march, only that i was in smart four and with a pink IC. so so happy. yuk soon arrived at chew's place also, and they did random stuff like watching southpark while i caught up with my sleep.

after i woke up we proceeded to bt timah food centre, amidst more excited chatter about how we've come a long way, and laughing at those poor jokers who signed on. i shouldn't be judging anyone, so "joker" is entirely my point of view. not our type of lifestyle, i reckon.

saw sergeant amit on the bus. he said more to me on one ride than he ever did in the past year. he's really quite a funny guy, and a refreshing change to the sullen sergeant at the smoking corner. and i actually got a call from one of my sergeant, wait, ex-sergeant's mother asking about wallaby. uh, hello.. ORD LOH!! haha what perfect timing.

the route march to the food centre was more of a fast march as i sought the salve to my palate. jz had arrived earlier and was chatting with goon when we arrived. then we ordered a hell lot of food and feasted heartily, with not-so-random interjections of ORD LOH. no dinner never felt so good compared to the ORD DINNER.

fun fact of the day: i actually donated more than a dollar to the busker at the hawker centre because he was playing ORD MUSIC.

anyway after that we somehow started talking about the second dinner. after my exploits at macs earlier in the day, the rest got excited so we proceeded to king albert park macs. a great big place, and we all chipped in to buy an EVM. alas, we didn't get sentosa cove. though my ORD luck reigned once again and i won.. free SMALL FRIES.

better than nothing la. never won so many things in a lucky draw before. in fact lucky draws aren't really lucky draws to me, they are merely teasers.

we shared the fries and milo, but couldn't decide what to do with the burger. so we ended up playing silly forfeit games - of which we all lost evenly. quite commendable. i remember eating a concoction of milo, sugar, creamer, pepper, chilli, bbq sauce and dunno wtf else with double cheeseburger. epic.

chew brought his camera to capture those priceless moments. i shall forever remember the 6th of november.

after our exploits with chilli sauce and shits, we went to get some exotic lemon lime and bitters. a rare treat. and JAMES MIAO actually called up all the way from uk to wish us happy ord. well, well, what a surprise from an old bmt mate. i dunno, i was just euphoric.

so we went back to macs to chill a little more, this time with our glass bottles to clink. though chew pussily bought pink dolphin. maybe to relive primary school days. and more shouting "ORD LOH". you only ORD once. a poor cadet happened to pass by; and well, tough shit, every dog has its day.. in camp.

then naturally we had to have a final keepsake so that explains the photo on top. each of us proudly displaying our pink ICs. a joy unbeknownst to all except those who have S A F ed. all the time put in had felt worth it suddenly, but that's easy to say now that it's all over.

had a good chat with jz on the way back. think we were talking about the future, about the possibilities, or whatever it was it didn't matter because we speak the language of freedom. it's just amazing how three letters can totally change a person. i really cannot think when was the last time i was so happy.

commissioning? no. A level results? no. bmt POP? NAH HARDLY.

there was of course, the little tinge of emo-ness as i took off my smart four for the last time as an NSF. keeping my bunch of keys, black notebook and rank (henta kaki LTA ftw) all for good. or at least, for a long looooong time. i think an apt song of how i felt that day could be this:



only that the last line should be:
thank you for the two years; oh happy ORD...

one hell of a long post. but the occasion warrants it.

---

About a million people and things have helped in passing these two years. True, everyone goes through it and everyone ORDs - but with some people's contributions it has become easier. I am thankful for that. Whether they read it or not the honour's list is here anyway.

Credits and acknowledgements:
PAPA, MAMA and LL for the moral support, logistical support and keeping me sane. It's too much to list everything here but definitely without them I'm screwed. Family doesn't come first for no reason.

PCB - especially the signal dudes who made pro term actually, fun. I thought I'd never use that word. manquan, jingzhou, boon, yuklun, super soldier dom, goon, chew, kuanfu, paul zeng, xuan ang and all those I bitch, curse and swear to.

4J - chong zhi, kezhong, ming sing, zhang kahn, xj, ktay james and whoever i might have left out certainly didn't leave me out. But the main guys were always there for the 4J outings and of course, bitching sessions.

FRIENDS who offered a listening ear or just keeping my mind off book-ins. Every little gesture counts to the NSF. You could be just talking trash to me, but talking civilian makes me feel less painful about booking in. It's much appreciated; mark, lossy, zhuoyi, angela, tania, justina, shiwei, reuben, wangting, guoren, kane, jordan, ngiam, kenny, yuanzheng, weixian, adrian, my ex-specs and ex-men (haha X-men..) and argh the list just goes on forever.

I don't mean to be melodramatic and list everyone that I've talked to in these 2 years, though I came close. But overall I still didn't - so there.

This concludes the worst chapter of my life, and writing the ending of this chapter feels better than any other. ORD LOH.