what's next?

this should not sound angsty because i have perfectly no intention to do so.

but i'm kinda confused now as to what my life is all about. today's school was seriously a waste of time, but from what i heard from my parents, apparently my cousin's wedding ceremony didn't come with much fanfare either. given the choice, i'd still pon school.

because today was an utter waste of time. ask anyone.

econs was watching movie. and bio started on PHOTOSYNTHESIS wth that's damn meng even i didn't bring my notes to copy so i was just sitting there muttering ATP.. ATP (adinosine triphosphate if i'm not wrong) to myself. then upper epidermis, lower epidermis, spongy mesophyll whatever. btw benny got owned and it was quite funny.

did vectors for maths lect while i menged spa skill a. break was spent doing chem. and talking loads of cock, saying things i don't really mean. i don't know why but i feel very evil today. chem was spent watching csi (which was quite interesting btw) and wong refused to talk about promos. except that our class probably didn't make top 10. big surprise there.

of course, i had to make a smart remark that "DID I NOT PULL UP THE CLASS AVERAGE ENOUGH". now i seriously hope i at least pass before i look like a total moron. but S sounds good la. uh, and i stupidly stapled myself before the thing started. DO NOT ASK ME HOW I DID IT. i was just playing around with my stapler and next thing i knew the staple was deep in my skin. as in the whole shit went in.

like wth. lossy and yanheng couldn't decide whether to laugh or to be concerned. i sucked my finger all the way to the toilet. i felt seriously retarded. nowadays i'm really not conscious all the time you see me walk around in school.

maths tut was spent doing probability. teo also refused to talk about maths, though he said some ppl had 1, 2 or 4 marks out of 100. meaning the lowest in our class is 5 marks? (by zhuoyi) i don't think i scored 5 marks so let's just hope for the best next week. then as probability always reminds the world of gambling, teo was giving us tips on how to play DA XIAO.

for once, i feel like i'm learning something useful.

after class i got this massive headache, which in effect was building up since the break. went to lie down and still felt somewhat feverish. too little sleep, it's getting to me. i couldn't wake up early today despite very badly wanting to, just to prove to the world i can be early. but DUCK no it just wouldn't happen! after whacking and not enjoying my breakfast, i found out attendance wasn't taken -.-

still i need to do something about coming late. or at least if i am coming late, i should at least be given the chance to enjoy my breakfast. it's a luxury i seldom get nowadays. sleeping early is a luxury that i NEVER get nowadays. i'm not asking you for pity, just read and continue.

anyway i slept a bit before going for befrienders' dance practice. i don't know why on earth was everyone so enthu about dance, even the house d members who were excluded. i learnt a bit before having to rush off for training, and it's a decision i don't regret. though i got whooped by my cousin for this one. and she's a girl.

but i don't feel bad losing to her because i know it's slow progress back to fitness for me, and plus i haven't had training since thursday. and before that hardly anything. did 10km today and i was totally dehydrated man. even though i said i was feeling bad in school, my run in macritchie served to prove that i was really UNWELL. SICK. i felt like giving up but just completed 10km anyway.

shall not mention the weak timing. thankfully my coach was quite encouraging. and i like the fact that he still remembers my name. i'm making an effort to come for trainings more regularly and i sincerely hope ocomm/oteam is not going to screw that up. saturday mornings are for running.

quite stupidly, i also volunteered to buy fruits for the team EVERY TRAINING SESSION. it was part of my plan somewhat to do something more for the team as well as uh, encouragement to attend every single training. holidays are coming, and i'm looking forward to full attendance like june hols. that would be perfect.

i finished the run with my legs burning, and honestly i think i was in delirium. the last kilometre my head was throbbing madly and i was just basically trying to stride to the finish. i think my mouth was really damn dry (dehydration?) and i was spitting some very bitter stuff from my mouth and i disliked that. dunno if it was foaming or what but i died at the finish. feet just burnt. whole body falling apart.

i feel accomplished. somehow.

and i want to get some sleep. i just finished whacking pw in fifteen minutes, and i pray that my work is up to standard. time to prepare script.

THEN I REALLY NEED MY SLEEP.

and open house can wait till tmr. i'm not about to kill myself managing so much stuff at one go. at the end of the day, i'm still human and humans sleep at the end of the day.

that's that. got pcb jersey today and i totally love it.

totally.

navy seals ftw!~