not so random.

i'll get straight to the point.

i won't ever know if i have made an accurate observation, but i feel that being a child in a broken family where the parents are fighting for his custody beats being a child in a family that doesn't appreciate his existence.

and if you haven't guessed it by now, i'm in the latter situation and i'm not just angsty about it. i'm bloody tired of it and the cracks are starting to show in my recent snappish behaviour. it's hard to smile and i'm hardly acting for dramafeste. my energy is being sapped and sucked by all the activities around school.

schoolwork. (french, what the hell.)
council. (the perennial problem. now its take.5 mascots)
house. (not equals to council. signups.)
dramafeste. (house, but hardcore)

and when i get home, all i want is just some time alone. i don't want no strain. i don't want to hear no nagging or that sorta stuff. i'm not asking for your support. i'm asking for some time so i can sort out my life. as if it isn't messed up enough.

thanks a lot, you bunch of shits.

and you'd better thank me for not using anything stronger on you. see, at least a child in a broken family is loved by both parents. i'd rather have two people fighting to love me than two people hating my guts.

the arrival of chinese new year is not bringing much cheer to my life. it seems to come so quickly, and i doubt i'd ever get to enjoy it in its full festive spirit. i have too many tutorials to complete, and i'm so damn lag that i'm seriously head on to failing As.

and oh btw i got drafted for 02 planning. what the hell.

i hate facing this multitude of problems, and yet again many would argue that i asked for it. naturally, i might have done that and i'm not going to make excuses for my unsupportable behaviour but hey you could have made it easier, damn it.

i'm sorry y'all have to read this crap, i'm really very sorry.

at the end of the 2 years i don't know what i'm going to think, but i sure need a certain sort of break in my life now. in the background, my mum is nagging again.

fuck it.

just god damn fuck it.